The wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 (NLT)
Have you ever heard the phrase, "cutting off your nose to spite your face" I heard this phrase often as I child. It was used mostly by older people when they wanted to describe someone acting against themselves.
The latter part of the verse in Proverbs 14:1 reminded me of this saying. The first woman is described as wise because she builds her house but the second woman is called foolish because she tears down her house with her own hands. Wow, she tears down her own house with her own hands. I wonder does she realize. I didn't.
Mathew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible gives this description of Proverbs 14:1:
A good wife is a great blessing to a family. By a fruitful wife a family is multiplied and replenished with children, and so built up. But by a prudent wife, one that is pious, industrious, and considerate, the affairs of the family are made to prosper, debts are paid, portions raised, provision made, the children well educated and maintained, and the family has comfort within doors and credit without; thus is the house built. She looks upon it as her own to take care of, though she knows it is her husband's to bear rule in, Esth. 1:22 . Many a family is brought to ruin by ill housewifery, as well as by ill husbandry. A foolish woman, that has no fear of God nor regard to her business, that is wilful, and wasteful, and humoursome, that indulges her ease and appetite, and is all for jaunting and feasting, cards and the play-house, though she come to a plentiful estate, and to a family beforehand, she will impoverish and waste it, and will as certainly be the ruin of her house as if she plucked it down with her hands; and the husband himself, with all his care, can scarcely prevent it.
As I have been seeking God on how to be a better wife He helped me to realize through studying scripture that I have been guilty at times of being the foolish wife. I have been guilty of tearing down my house with my own hands (Ouch Lord!).
Sometimes I tear down my own house by doing my own thing therein going against what my husband and I agreed upon.
Sometimes I tear it down by spending too much money.
Sometimes I tear it down by letting my emotions control my actions and the words that I speak are negative and they do not build or uplift my family.
Sometimes I tear it down by constantly complaining instead of speaking life into my husband, children my family circumstances, those around me and even myself.
I have justified my behavior by expecting understanding because it is that time of the month or because I should be easier to put up with since people know this is just the way that I am and I don't mean any harm
Or I believe if he would just…or if they would just…
I believe we even tear down our houses and marriages when we hold out on making love to our husbands to get them to do what we want them to do or to punish them.
Are you a builder of your house or do you tear down? As wives we have to build up our homes. We are responsible for standing in the gap for our husbands and families by being women of prayer and by being Godly examples in our homes.
I know that this is hard sometimes because we feel like our needs are not being met and so much is expected of us, but we can find strength in our relationship with Christ and by encouraging each other. Remember we cannot expect any one in this life to fill our every need. They can't do it for us and we can't do it for them. Only God can satisfy our souls.
Father, please help us to be women and wives that build up our homes and not tear them down. Help us to remember to look to you for the deepest needs of our souls. We love and honor you. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Getting It in Your Spirit:
Let's ask the Lord to search our hearts and reveal to us any things that we may be doing that tears down our homes. Write these things in your journal and ask the Lord for forgiveness. Then listen as he speaks to your heart with ways to be wise and build up your family. Join the conversation on Facebook where you can share ways that you build your house.
Read Proverbs 31. Use this woman's description as an example and to inspire.
I Corinthians 10:24, "Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being." (NKJV)
Psalm 139:23, "Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my anxieties." (NKJV)